2018: By the time I successfully walked across Nepal, my thirst for adventure was satiated. Be it a couple hairy moments in the hills, a bone-deep fatigue, or just boredom after so much time in my own head, I was hastily scrapping plans to extend the trip into the Indian Himalaya.
I flew to Delhi to visit family but it wasn’t long before the heat and crowds began gnawing at me and I felt, once again, a yearning for thin air, quietude, a mountain to climb.
I scoured maps and trip reports eventually landing on a cool line along an old trading route from the Spiti Valley of Himachal Pradesh into Ladakh, the high-altitude state bordering Tibet and Pakistan.
2 weeks across snowy passes and glacial plains and I was back in the box with a smouldering resentment for all this walking. So inefficient. I was bitter and whiney. No way to be in the mountains.
I hitch-hiked into Leh, the capital city of Ladakh with a healthy beard and a mild case of re-entry syndrome, the psychological result of extended bouts of solitude in nature ranging from social awkwardness to manic episodes. Frankly I was happy to eat ice cream and be lazy and mingle with travellers.
I met a girl called Ophelie. French. Cute. For godknows what reason she took an interest in me. I rented a motorcyle, learned how to operate the thing and we went-a-travellin’.
Eventually her visa was set to expire and she planned to visit her dad in la Reunion. I recalled there was an ultra-marathon there and made plans to tag along with the goal of running the Diagonale des Fous. Just two months before the race I contacted the organization who gave me a last-minute bib on the basis of being a foreigner.
The next six weeks I trained. First up and down the leech-infested tea fields of Darjeeling, then the bottomless valleys of Sikkim under non-stop rain, and finally back to the snowy peaks of Ladakh.
So we make it to La Reunion where it’s hot and busy and incredibly beautiful. My goal was to try to impress Ophelie’s dad by finishing the thing in a respectable time.
The race wrecked me, but in retrospect was a pivotal moment. I finished in 31.5h but felt, for whatever reason, that 24h was reasonable if I trained properly. By the time my body rejuvenated I was flying back to Yellowstone for another winter’s work.
In addition to the 4-8h per day I was ski-guiding I was getting up early to do push-ups and sprints, and again into the night, following wolf tracks on my skis, resolved to get fit.
2019: As soon as we closed shop for the season I jumped on a plane to la Reunion to join Ophelie. The first run of the year sans-snow was Hell-Bourg to Piton des Neiges (Island high-point). Running uphill never felt so easy.
I spent a month on the island doing some fantastic loops. Eating and drinking well. Assimilating into island life. Then adventure came calling and I struck out to Africa.
Fast-forward to 2022: We got married had a kid, moved to the Pyrenees on a whim. France forbid me from working so I was staying home with our son while Ophelie worked in the hospital.
If I couldn’t work, at least I could train. We decided to come back to la Reuion to see family and race. I managed to do the thing any amateur athlete dreams of, taking third place in just over 24h with no sponsor, and minimal assistance. Race recap.
Yet again this race reframed how I saw my sporting life. I doubled down on the training and went into 2023 with plenty of ambition but little support outside my family.
2024: Back this year as a full-fledged athlete. I have the advantage of the Asics at my back and a confidence that comes with experience.
There is also the sharp-end of life as a pro where a touch of self-doubt, inner-weakness can metastasize and ruin a race. But I feel good. Prepared and willing.
La Diagonale des Fous has been a critical race in my development as an athlete, a portal to new dimensions of suffering and also fresh possibilities. So let’s see what happens.
Departure Thursday 10pm local, 8pm Paris, 12pm EST
Hey Ben,
Your words last newsletter after such a tragic loss were deeply inspiring. Just wanted to thank you for sharing all these feelings, emotions and ambitions in such an eloquent and poetic way 🙏🙏
So excited for you to embrace adventure once again on the DDF. I took the start line 5 years ago as a 20 year old and coughed my way in la Redoute in about 36 hours with blisters that got the "podologues" all excited haha - what an adventure it was - one I dream of taking on again some day ! Your words about navigating life on the trails, travelling and fatherhood have inspired me to share a few thoughts on Substack myself.
All of this to say that I have never met you yet you deeply inspire me. Go get it, so many are rooting for you ! Win or lose, all happy to follow the adventure - your dad will be pushing you on every step ✨
Ben - you continue to amaze me as an athlete, writer, son, husband, father and incredible human being. Your family, friends & many admirers couldn't be more proud of your accomplishments, your drive, your passion, your commitment and your unconditional love & devotion to your lovely wife and beautiful boy. Your journey so far had been remarkable in every way, yet your future shines even brighter. Wishing you all the best as you seek to conquer Grand Raid de La Reunion yet again. Cheers!